


i think i wanna marry you.

by tacohashi



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Gay Panic, I DONT MAKE THE RULES, Proposals, heated debates about cilantro, listen they deserve this softness and easy life okay, many found family vibes, probably very ooc but i dont care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:13:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26248501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tacohashi/pseuds/tacohashi
Summary: Lilith has worked up the courage to propose to Mary after having a serious talk with Beatrice. But the day she least expects it, Mary gets on one knee, and holds out a ring.
Relationships: Sister Lilith/Shotgun Mary (Warrior Nun)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	i think i wanna marry you.

**Author's Note:**

> me, a seventeen year old girl with little to none experience when it comes to romantic relationships: yes. i will write about them proposing and having a difficult and tragic past, fantastic idea. 
> 
> ok, also, i stole the prompt from a generator and then changed it completely to the point that i don't think it even fits the prompt anymore, lmao.
> 
> you can blame all spelling mistakes on google docs, and all grammar mistakes on me; no beta reader we die like idiots.
> 
> (yes, title comes from that bruno mars song.)

“Beatrice, you are _not_ helping right now.” 

Lilith’s been pacing back and forth around Beatrice’s and Ava’s living room for the past hour, the box that held the ring heavy on her hand. She knows she’s being irrational, but she also feels like she’s drowning in pure unfiltered panic and _what ifs._

The ring has been hidden in the bottom drawer of their linen closet for over three months now, she bought it days before their fifth anniversary, sure and ready that she was going to propose that day. 

“I'm just saying, You've been together for almost five years—”

“—And you live together and have a dog. Don't forget that part, Bea.” Ava interrupts with her mouth full of food, because she’s disgusting like that. A part of Lilith will never understand what Beatrice sees in Ava, but the way they look at each other is so full of love that she doesn’t doubt that whatever Beatrice sees, it’s something good and they’re meant to last. 

Lilith _glares_ at her, and it must be a pretty mean glare because Ava tries her best to hide behind the pack of Oreos she’s holding, looking just a tiny bit scared. Good, as she should. 

“Ava has a point,” Beatrice sighs, looking at Lilith move from one side of the living room to the other, “You _do_ already live together and have a dog, why would she say no?”

“Well, she _was_ going to marry Shannon,” Lilith stops walking and takes a breath, “And then, you know, everything happened and our friendship barely _survived_.” 

She met Mary the summer between her sophomore and junior year of college while doing an internship for extra points in a class she doesn’t even remember taking. What she _does_ remember is that deep feeling of jealousy over Mary’s relationship with Shannon that she pushed down and buried deep inside of her until it felt like she was going to burst with them.

They became friends _fast_. The two of them spent the whole internship working together and getting close. It was a bad idea for her feelings, because the closer they got, the bigger her feelings—both the good and the bad ones— grew.

Lilith became good friends with Shannon too, how could she not? She was such a _good_ person, always there to help others with a bright smile on her face. Lilith even helped Mary pick the ring she was going to use to propose, with a tight knot on her chest and a smile so fake her mothers would’ve been proud. (She then also proceeded to ignore both of them for _days_ until Mary organized an intervention and things went back to its painful normal.)

Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, everything crashed and burned. And Shannon _was gone_. Both Mary and Lilith stopped talking and started fighting, more and more until their friendship was almost gone. A tiny thing filled with angry, hurtful words and a deep regret of wishing things had turned out different. 

“But she loves you, Lil. It's really obvious.” Beatrice says with a soft voice, “Anyone can see the amount of love the two of you have for the other.”

“Yeah! You could call her right now, ask her to marry you and she’d say yes.” Ava grins, like if things were _that_ easy.

“Ava, you’re not being helpful right now.” 

She hums for a moment and gets up, “Alright, well, I’m going to see if Mary wants to play Mario Kart with me. Good luck!” And just like that, she was gone. When Lilith and Mary moved in together and they found out the two girls lived three floors up, it had felt like life had pulled a really bad prank on her. But now, she was glad her family was always close (even if Ava trying to break in to steal Mary’s Nintendo Switch twice a week was _tiring_ ).

Lilith will never understand the weird and complicated sister-like relationship Mary and Ava have. They are too alike and too different at the same time, clashing at every turn and every topic with the sole exception of the love and trust they have for each other and their family—they both had an immense amount of _love_ and _loyalty_ that ran deep in their veins, that connected them in ways most blood-families wished they could have.

It was hard for Lilith to even _tolerate_ Ava at first, she was, and still is, too childish and ignorant to take seriously. But she’s someone important to Mary (for some reason), and with time the younger girl has grown on her and maybe ( _maybe)_ Lilith likes her now, even though she still is an extremely annoying, self-centered brat most of the time.

“Why haven’t you proposed, really?” Beatrice asks. 

Lilith sighs. Well, where does she start? 

“I don’t want to ruin what we have. We’ve been doing so good lately,” She sits down beside Beatrice. Lilith doesn’t stutter, she never has. She was taught to speak with firm and precise words. But then: “I-I… I just don’t want to lose her.”

The mere thought of losing Mary (again, losing her _again_ ) fills her with so much raw, panicked sadness that she forgets how to breath for a second. She could feel the tendrils of those feelings creeping through her ribs and squeezing her heart until it was physically painful for it to beat.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, come here.” Sometimes she forgets how well Beatrice knows her—better than her own mothers do—, and how long she’s been a part of her life. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t feel ready to. What you and Mary have is good, healthy and something you both deserve.”

She feels Beatrice wrap her arms around her, pulling her in for a tight hug and Lilith can breath again. 

“ _Fuck_ those insecurities.” Beatrice says in the most serious voice she can manage. She had never been one to say any type of curse word, it had been that way since the two of them had been kids. So listening to her curse was always something that caught Lilith off guard, the way the words sounded awkward and unpracticed coming from her mouth. “I know Ava said it mostly as a joke, but I do think Mary would say yes if you proposed right now. She loves you so much, Lil;

“There’s no one pressuring you on doing things you don’t feel ready to do. If where you are right now in your relationship is where you want to stay, you don’t have to take that extra step and propose. It’s okay to stay where you are.”

The two of them stay in silence for a few minutes, both processing everything Beatrice said. She was right, and Lilith knew it. There was no rush, no pressure from anyone for them to get engaged. Mary wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was she.

But. _But._ There was this irrational part of her, small and hidden in the depths of her heart, that whispered all those _what ifs_ and kept her up at night with anxiety filling her lungs, that wanted to rush it. Make sure she had physical proof that Mary loved her and she was worthy of her love. (Make sure her _mothers_ knew she was worthy of love.)

“Thank you, Bea.” She says when the silence— and her thoughts, too— felt like it was going to suffocate her. “You always know how and when to say the right words.”

Beatrice smiles and pats her shoulder, “I’ve got your back, and you’ve got mine. Like always.” She clears her throat rather awkwardly and says, “And I love you. You’re my oldest friend.”

Both Beatrice and her always struggled with demonstrating emotions, always taught to be professional and cold—since they had been little girls, with too many questions and not a single answer; so, casual display of affection was foreign and at some point _uncomfortable_ for the two. Lilith appreciated and cherished moments like this one, where they could be awkward and vulnerable about their feelings and them. (It felt like growth, and family, and love.)

“I love you, and I got your back too. You know that.” Lilith smiles, and what a beautiful thing was it to have a friendship like the one they had.

The other woman nods with a tiny barely-there smile still on her lips, “How much time do you give Ava and Mary until they come back fighting about something?” 

Lilith laughs and thinks for a moment, “I say any moment now. Their record is two hours with no fighting.”

“ _Only_ two hours? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen them be civil with the other for at least seven.” 

Just as Beatrice finishes talking, the door swings open and both Mary and Ava storm in, bickering between the other about who knows what. 

Lilith looks at Beatrice, raises an eyebrow and mouths: _‘I told you so’;_ Beatrice just smiles and shakes her head. Both Mary and Ava are a pair of idiots when they’re with the other, but they’re _their_ idiots.

——

It's a quiet night, one of those nights they have reserved to be together and exist in their own safe space, with their dog Tarask, some take-out that Mary bought after work from their favorite restaurant (they tried not to eat take out often, preferring to cook all their meals at home because Mary was an _excellent_ cook and, well, Lilith always appreciated that view) and reruns of the second season of Community playing in the background. 

It’s also three weeks after she talked to Beatrice. And she still hadn’t proposed, the ring was still hidden in their linen closet. (But it was always present in her mind, trying to find the perfect moment to ask her the question and not mess things up.)

“I can’t believe you like cilantro.” Lilith says, staring at Mary’s food with disgust. She had gotten their take-out from a small restaurant close to her job that they both loved, it was a small family run hole in the wall place with the _absolute best_ Mexican cuisine Lilith had ever tried. A few months after finding the place, they had already become regulars and known by name by everyone that worked there.

“Not my fault my genetics have a superior taste and made cilantro not taste like shit, baby girl.” Mary says back, with that insufferably beautiful smirk on her face.

The first time Mary had called her _baby girl_ had been when they were still trying to salvage their friendship—that later developed into the relationship they have now—, it had been a complete accident, slipping past Mary’s lips like it was a thing she did everyday. And to be frank, Lilith did _not_ stop thinking about it for days.

She scoffs, a small smile on her lips. “Your genetics _nor_ your taste are superior just because cilantro doesn’t taste like soap, love.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that. We both know I’m right.”

“But you’re _not_ right. Cilantro can be so irrelevant to our lives, that people can have that gene and never know. So not having it doesn’t make you superior, it just makes cilantro taste good, or somewhat passable.”

Mary laughs, a lovely and care-free laugh, “Why do you have such a strong opinion on this? Do you spend your free time thinking about all the small arguments we can have so that you can win?” 

“Of course not,” (Yes, she did. Lilith loved watching Mary’s face as she broke all the arguments she made, and then how she also tried to distract her so Lilith could lose her train of thought.) “I’m just smart.” 

“Yes, the smartest.” Mary nodded, agreeing. “Do I get kisses for agreeing with you on that?” 

Well, how could Lilith say no to that? She leaned towards Mary and kissed her for a second, two, then three until she felt breathless.

Mary pulls away, but keeps their forehead pressed together, and then says: “How did the cilantro taste? Still like soap?”

“Oh, _shut up.”_ Lilith groans, swatting at Mary’s arm, “Spending so much time with Ava is not good for you, you’re turning into her.” 

“Wow, okay. Those are real insults.” She laughs, throwing her head back against the couch, “I didn’t think you’d stop that low for something as, what’d you call it? Irrelevant? As cilantro.”

Lilith rolls her eyes and presses a kiss on her girlfriend’s shoulder. (Sometimes it still surprised her that she could do that anytime she wanted, and it was _okay_.)

When they’re done with their food, after getting distracted a few more times with each other, Mary volunteers to clean up all the trash (“It’s my turn to wash the dishes anyway!” She had said with a wink). She picks up all the containers and walks over to the kitchen, whistling to herself.

Five minutes pass and she hasn’t returned, which worries Lilith. 

“ _Ven aquí, amor mío.”_ She calls out to Mary, who was still in the kitchen and taking too long to put the take-out containers in the trash. “I want to watch another episode before we go to bed. Tarask wants cuddles, and I’m going to let him get up on the couch if you don’t come back in five seconds.”

“Wait,” Mary says, stepping out of the kitchen and taking a small, velvet box out of her back pocket, “Lilith. Marry me.” 

She gets down on one knee and Lilith’s first reaction is:

“What? You’ve got to be _fucking_ kidding me.” 

Lilith stands up and walks over to the linen closet, opening the bottom drawer and pulling out a velvet box that could be an exact match to the one in Mary’s hand. (If she could see Mary in that moment, she’d see the panic and amusement that was etched on her face because of her reaction.)

Mary laughs when she sees what Lilith is holding in her hands, and then she laughs too. (The sight is ridiculous, Mary is still kneeling with the box open in her hand outside of their kitchen; and Lilith has the box in her hands, standing a few steps away from the other woman.)

“Baby girl, for a moment I thought you were about to break up with me,” She looks at Lilith and stands up. “But this is _way funnier._ ” 

Mary walks over to her, “So? What do you say? Wanna get married?” 

“Yes, of course I want to.”

They’re both grinning like _absolute idiots_ , but Lilith doesn’t care. She’s never been as happy as she is right now (well, maybe with the exception of their first date), while she slips the ring in Mary’s finger and Mary does the same with her.

(Lilith never thought she’d get this. This unconditional love— both from Mary and the rest of her friends, _her family_ —, was something that always seemed so far away, so out of reach. But now, she has that and so much more.) 

“We should tell our family first, don’t you think?” Lilith says, walking to the couch to retrieve her phone and snap a picture of their hands and the rings. Her cheeks hurt from smiling so _widely_ and _freely_ , but that has always been a constant when she’s around Mary— it had been that way since the day they first met. 

(There are days in which a part of her still doesn’t believe how easy loving Mary, and being loved by her is. How happy they are together, and how far they’ve come.)

**4 LESBIANS AND A GOLDEN RETRIEVER.**

**[10:27PM] Lilith:** [IMAGE_032.png]

**[10:27PM] Lilith:** We both said yes.

**[10:28PM] Ava:** YES. hello sister in law

**[10:28PM] Ava:** wait both???? 

**[10:34PM] Camila:** Oh! Congratulations! I’m so happy for the two of you. ❤️

**[10:35PM] Beatrice:** I told you she’d say yes, Lilith. 

**[10:35PM] Beatrice:** And you too, Mary.

**[10:35PM] Ava:** wait u knew about this?? why didnt u say anything 

**[10:35PM] Beatrice:** Ava I’m sitting right next to you. You don’t have to text me. 

**[10:37PM] Camila:** Brunch tomorrow? Same place and time as always?

**[10:37PM] Camila:** Also, Lou says congrats! ❤️

**[10:40PM] Ava:** fuck yes brunch

**[10:40PM] Ava:** bea and i will be there 

**[10:44PM] Mary:** see ya tomorrow. 

Lilith turns ‘ _do not disturb’_ on, drops her phone on the coffee table and kisses Mary. She kisses her once, twice, three times. Just because she can. 

They kiss until they're both smiling too hard to keep going, because they’re going to get married and Lilith, finally, feels at home.

And Mary is going to be her _wife,_ and she’s going to be hers. And everything is okay.

**Author's Note:**

> i will sprinkle in the fact that i'm an active lurker in the discord server every chance i get. 
> 
> hmu on tumblr @rudeamity if you want to hear all the other possibles names i came up with for the groupchat.


End file.
